This semester has been the hardest semester of my high school career. I became the busiest I've ever been, lost my best friend, gained three new best friends, been stressed out more than I've been relaxed, and had so many people counting on me that the pressure has made me want to burst. Jacob, my best friend of 14 years, and I got into a huge fight. It all spurred up when he applied to be in a program I'm involved in, PALs. PALs is a mentoring/leadership organization that works within our community and our school to be positive role models to society. After interviews we, as the present pals, sit in a circle and discuss our impressions of the applicants. Jacob created a huge dilemma in my life. I couldn't tell him what was said about him, even though I wanted to, and the whole week before the new pals were announced, I couldn't tell him if he was in or not. A few days after his interview, before we discussed him in our circle, Jacob told me he lied in his teacher interview. He said that he lied about drinking. I felt obligated to bring this up within our circle, because the people making the decisions of who was in or out needed to know. Other people had objections to him, so he wasn't chosen, but I told them about his lie after they brought up their objections. After he found out he didn't make it in, he was very disappointed, and blamed me. He then put down PALs and the people in it. PALs has completely changed my life. Getting to spend time with kids less fortunate that I am and getting to just learn so much about me and other people has been the best experience of my life. The people in PALs are like my second family. Within the classroom we even call ourselves a family. He put down everything that I've grown to truly love at school, and broke me down bit by bit. I couldn't handle it anymore, so we just stopped talking. I haven't talked to him in almost a month. It hurts when I walk down the hall and see him, or listen to a song on the radio that reminds me of him, because I know I can't just call him and tell him about my day or see how his day was. I miss his friendship, but I don't miss the destroyed emotions. My three new best friends, Maria, Adrianna, and Xavier, all tell me that I should just leave him alone, and make him leave me alone as well. I'm trying to follow their advice, but it's just not working. My dad even told me that Jacob needs someone like me in his life, to keep him grounded, but I need help staying above water when I'm saving him from drowning. I can't always be the life saver; I need saving too. Maria, Adrianna, and Xavier ask for my advice with their family issues all the time, but I don't feel I can talk to them about mine, because they seem so petty compared to their situations. I end up leaving all these things bottled up inside me, and I can't do it all on my own. It ends up stressing me out. Then, there's prom. Katie Watson, one of my really good friends, is president of Junior Class council. I'm the secretary/treasurer. The major event for Junior Class Council is Prom. Katie and I came up with the theme, the colors, and everything, but now it's time to put it all together. On Tuesdays, the days that our meetings are held, I end up being at school until around 5pm; that doesn't leave much time for homework and studying. I also have bible study on Tuesday nights from 6-8:45pm, so that's even less time for school work. Wednesdays I have student council until 5pm. I had to drop AWANAS this semester because I've gotten to busy and don't have time to memorize the verses like I'd like to. My parents are depending on me to have good grades and do well in school so that I can go to college and become the genius daughter they always thought I was. The further I get in high school, the less I feel like a genius. I just feel like giving up on school, knowing that my three best friends will be off at college next year, and I have too much school to catch up with. My duel credit history class is my biggest problem right now. I am failing that class, the first class I've ever failed. Last semester, my grade was fine in that class, but this semester, I can't seem to stay focused in class, and when I'm out of class, I'm not motivated to do well. My mom just yelled at me, and told me how much I needed to study because I've really messed up, for the past 30 minutes. Then she tried to sugar coat it and said that she knew I was a smart, young lady. I HATE it when she does that, and then she gave me a hug, like that will make everything better. Today, in catering, we were tossing a paper ball, covered in taped, around the room. I tried to throw it with my left hand, and it slipped and hit Michelle right in the side of the face. I felt horrible, and I could tell she was made when she left. Mr. Torres, our teacher, even let her go early. Before she left, she threw it back at me and hit me in the back of them head. She threw really hard, so she was really mad. I told her I was really sorry, but I didn't know what else I could've done. Last weekend in catering, I had to come in on a Saturday and help with an order. I was at school from 2-9pm cooking, cleaning, and serving. We discovered later that we had TONS of leftovers, so each of the three helpers, Luis, Nicole, and I, got to take home some of them. We also get paid, but I gave up a Saturday of relaxation for that. This semester has been crazy, and I don't know if I can handle another crazy year like this. I'm not taking a dual credit class, or catering next year, but I am still taking PALs. I want summer to come, but that's not going to be relaxing either. So much stuff has been going on, and I don't know how much more I can take.